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Dong-Ha

If I were a hamburger you’d come and watch! I texted back a smiley face. She texted back some letters I don’t understand. My crotch is itchy.You’re right. I’m a firestarter and a jinx. I’m going to destroy this whole family. Your body. It’s an erotic friend fiction story that I just wrote. I hope…

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Trip to Switzerland

This is like watching two monkeys at the puberty zoo. You won’t regret it, dad. When I kiss Jimmy Jr. under the disco ball, it’ll be like we’re all kissing Jimmy Jr under the disco ball. Ok then, see you on our date! Now my rash smells like bacon. But it doesn’t itch anymore. You…

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There’s a lot of carrots in that stew. Our toaster is also confused. It doesn’t know where bagels go. Buns…sen. I’m just not sure if I’ll be any good on the grill with one free hand.Gene, you saved us. I owe you my life. It’s an erotic friend fiction story that I just wrote. I…

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This is where I thrash. Crap attack? Don’t have one? I guess she doesn’t like wearing clothes. Please don’t tell Mom and Dad. Dr. Yap, once I was into you, but after seeing you torture my father, I think we should just be friends with dental benefits. Brr, it sure is cold in here. I…

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Jerry The Dog

We can make this work. We can work out a dating wheel, just like a chore wheel. Let’s put the try in triangle. Argh!… Wait, I like the library. I texted back a smiley face. She texted back some letters I don’t understand. Yeah it’s an acquired taste. That I just acquired. YOU GORGEOUS IDIOT!…

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Dear Diary: Tonight I’m sneaking off to the abandoned taffy factory to look for treasure. Also, if boys had uteruses, they’d be called duderuses. My crotch is itchy. There’s someone behind the milk. Maybe it’s the dairy fairy. Ugg, my heart just pooped its pants. Not if you’re a fish. The hand wants what the…

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The Effect of Urbanization

I can’t tell where your back ends and your butt begins. Everyone touched each other’s butts, and it was great. I guess she doesn’t like wearing clothes. Just when I think I’m out, those cheeks pull me right back in. My boob? Sausage leather belts. This is where I thrash. Butts. Let’s raise our glasses!…

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Bambi in Real Life

If I drunk text you and you’re asleep, don’t text me in the morning…that ship has sailed. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh You had me at horses, but then you lost me at corpses. I’m out of control. Buns…sen. Buns…sen. I had no idea there was so much butt touching in baseball. Thank you zombie boyfriends. I’m out of…

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Massey Hall

I’ll wave at you every day. He did? That’s the sleaziest, sneakiest, most romantic thing anyone’s ever done to me. You’re right. I’m a firestarter and a jinx. I’m going to destroy this whole family. This is where I thrash. Buns…sen. I’m gonna write the most erotic, graphic, freakiest friend fiction ever. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Chad the…

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Manon’s Trip

How do you know a python ate it? Did it leave a note? I had no idea there was so much butt touching in baseball. My crotch is itchy. You won’t regret it, dad. When I kiss Jimmy Jr. under the disco ball, it’ll be like we’re all kissing Jimmy Jr under the disco ball.…

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